just trust

I’m sitting on my bed after hours of dozing off, napping, and all-out sleep. there isn’t much on my to-do list except a few dishes and vacuuming. it’s a new year but more importantly it’s a new day. I want to get excited every day at midnight. I want to get excited about the opportunity to experience a new day. but I don’t think anyone really views it that way. we don’t really measure the value we receive in one day. as I’m scrolling through Instagram posts about new year, new beginnings, and fresh start, I saw a theme – trust. I can’t believe this is a lesson I’m still learning. it’s a little frustrating. but nevertheless, it inspired me to write this small note about Thomas.

Read the story here.

When I’m reading something, especially the Bible, I like to know the meaning of all the words. I especially like to know the meaning behind a name of I’m reading Bible verses. A name in the Bible described that person’s character. John says Thomas is also called “Didymus”. Both of his names are uncommon. I went here to look up what’s in a name. His name is associated with two or double or twice and means Twin. I like one of the last few sentences on that page: “Our word…may denote…being forked.” So putting all these together, I have a mental picture of a guy who had multiple views heading in different directions. I want to use the word double-minded but I’m not 100% sure that’s the exact word I’m looking for. The point is, I see a guy with clashing viewpoints or views that follow different paths. I see a literal fork in the road (which reminds me of Amelia Bedelia) and someone whose viewpoint was able to go down any path or road. Split. Indecisive.

This the guy who needed physical evidence after Jesus was resurrected. His statement showed his personality:

24 And Thomas, one of the twelve, who is called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came;

25 the other disciples, therefore, said to him, `We have seen the Lord;’ and he said to them, `If I may not see in his hands the mark of the nails, and may put my finger to the mark of the nails, and may put my hand to his side, I will not believe.’

He wasn’t there, so he’s having a hard time believing it. Maybe there were many streams of thought flowing though his mind. Maybe his views were overwhelmingly conflicting and so he decided not to believe until he could see for himself and test the theory.

But I love Jesus’ response to Him. Jesus invites Thomas into direct contact with suffering and asks Thomas to believe. Jesus responds to Thomas’ fears and doubts with an invitation to be closer and more intimate. He doesn’t push Thomas away. Sure, it takes a few days for Jesus to respond to Thomas’ request, but the point is that Jesus answers him and in a way in which the other disciples did not experience!

Seeing the word “trust” repeatedly as I scrolled through got me thinking: people often ask “If there’s a God, why is there so much suffering?” In other words, God, how can you be real and not intervene? I understand that question. I get it.

And, Reader, here’s how it connects with our friend Thomas.

God responds to our doubt with an invitation to know Him even more deeply. He invites us to get close to suffering and not to run away from it. He invites us to experience it face to face and not be apart from it. He invites us to see how closely connected He is to suffering and how much He truly understands it. He doesn’t push us away because we have questions or can’t see His plan or don’t understand everything He’s doing. He invites me and you not to ignore suffering but to be a part of it so that it can transform our minds and then transform our lives. Because you can never be unchanged when you experience suffering. You can never be unchanged when you reach out and touch and realize that it’s a real part of the human experience.

And change is exactly what Thomas experiences. After he realizes how intimately the Savior understands suffering, Thomas has a revelation. Thomas realizes and acknowledges that Jesus..is..God.

Observation

Thomas could only see his current situation: Jesus isn’t here and he’s left us emotionally empty while we’re struggling to handle our suffering.

Declaration

Thomas doubts and makes a declaration: I won’t believe until I see.

Invitation

Jesus enters the scene and extends an invitation.

Revelation

Thomas believes and has a revelation.


And I guess that’s just it. If we only look at the current circumstances, we’ll only see part of the picture. But if we acknowledge our doubts and wait for Jesus to reveal Himself, we won’t be able to resist the revelation. As you continue to respond to His invitation to be closer, He’ll reveal Himself as not only being aware of suffering and understanding it, but also being in control.

28 And Thomas answered and said to him, `My Lord and my God;’

mini devotional: the one I wrote for V

It seems like when I’m losing focus, God sends the right word…passage…song…friend. This time around God sent a friend. A friend who encourages me and points my thoughts to Jesus. I keep editing and re-editing because I’m wondering if I’m talking about God too much. I’m wondering about how to reach you, Reader. How do I connect? I didn’t start this page or this blog for the followers. But that’s always in the back of my mind: I wonder if they’d like me more if I…

I don’t like doing things without purpose. I like to do things and see results. I think that’s why I love cleaning so much. Well, that and the fresh, clean air smell.

Sometimes it’s difficult to maintain our sight of purpose. We can get stuck in routine and wonder what it all means. We wonder whether we’ll ever get out of this rut or that situation.

Maybe that’s how the Israelites felt when they were enslaved in Egypt. Century after century they woke up to the same old limited freedom. Unable to worship the one true God perhaps because they had lost their sense of hope…and their identity.

Exodus 6:

“Therefore, say to the people of Israel: ‘I am the Lord. I will free you from your oppression and will rescue you from your slavery in Egypt. I will redeem you with a powerful arm and great acts of judgment. I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt. I will bring you into the land I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I will give it to you as your very own possession. I am the Lord!’”

So Moses told the people of Israel what the Lord had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery.

If you’re a little discouraged because life seems stagnant, I encourage you to take on a new perspective. You’ve never experienced today, tomorrow, or even the next moment. Each day brings new opportunity even if you’re doing the same old thing. Your identity is rooted in who you are in Jesus. Your identity is first and foremost (I really don’t like that phrase; feel free to suggest another one) in Jesus. That means that even when we’ve got nothing in life, we still have everything because our every thing is based on Jesus. If our identities are based in our achievements, friends, family, jobs, education, or anything but God, then we’ll find that our emotions go up and down like an unpredictable roller coaster because those things (achievements, friends, family, etc.) are always changing. But when we put our hope, faith, foundation in Jesus, we’ll find that even when we’ve got nothing, we have everything.

We’re not really at a loss at all.

And you know, Reader?

There is really no such thing as having absolutely nothing. It’s just a matter of perspective.

There is always something to be grateful for.

But you might need more.

So here it is.

This morning’s Bible verse from Isaiah 40:28

Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding.

The God we serve doesn’t get tired of hearing from us. Further proof here.

The God we serve cares about every detail of our lives.

While you’re waiting for the next thing, change your perspective about the current thing, whether it’s a person, place, or situation.

Find God’s purpose for you. Find out what He wants you to do in the meantime. Use the talents you have in ways you never thought of.

when you just doubt.

I wanted to entitle this one “just hope” but that didn’t feel right.

I’ve experienced a lot of terrible situations in life that have left me fearful. 

Anxiety.

Imagine walking to your favorite restaurant. You already know how to get there so you don’t need a map. You know you need to cross a few streets and maybe wait at a few stop lights, but instead of walking the direct path from point A to point B, you stop behind each building you see along the way and then peek from behind the building’s walls before moving forward down the familiar path to your favorite restaurant. That’s what anxiety feels like to me. I feel like I have to hide behind bushes and buildings and wait to see if there’s any traffic rushing towards me before I step out into the street. I feel like a dangerous accident might happen. 

Drunken driver. Malfunctioning airbag. Deer in headlights. Flock of geese. 

I mean, anything could happen. 

And that’s what anxiety feels like to me – like I need to have a peek around the corner before something terrible happens to me. 

Sometimes when I feel that way, I remember this post I read a while ago “Expecting the good that God wants to give you“. 

If you’re too lazy to read that short article, here is a powerful line that stood out to me:

“Fear is the opposite of faith and it takes faith to accept anything good in our lives.”

This verse is powerful too:

All the days of the oppressed are miserable, but a cheerful heart has a continual feast. 

– Proverbs 15:15 HCSB

satan wants us to focus on the terrible things in life that have happened, are happening, or could happen. When you’re stuck on focusing on anything/anyone but God, it is so very easy to become anxious and depressed. We don’t focus on His abilities. We focus on our inabilities. When you see no way out, of course you’ll feel trapped and saddened.

Exodus 20:2-3. Israelites have just been delivered from slavery. God doesn’t want them running their lives by the rules of the old land so he gives them rules on how to live life free. 

The first thing He says to them is 

““I am the LORD your God, who rescued you from the land of Egypt, the place of your slavery. “You must not have any other god but me.”

Exodus 20:2-3 NLT 

If you look up the definition of “god” you’ll find it associated with words like worship and adoration and admiration. Whatever or whoever receives our worship, adoration, and admiration is our god. God wants us to make Him our priority. 

Rule #1.

Obtaining freedom from anxiety involves keeping God #1. Not our jobs (or lack thereof). Not homework. Not friends. Not boyfriends. Not girlfriends. Not spouses. Anything else you could name doesn’t count as God. 

But when we focus on God we learn things like true love (click this link & the ones below).

We learn that He is our refuge so we can run to Him at any time.

And not just any time in a fearful way but any time and confidently.

We learn that He’s forgiving

We learn that He’s patient.

We learn that He is merciful.

We learn that He can bring to fruition things that are seemingly impossible

We learn that He understands us.

Yup, understands us. 

And loves us exactly as we are

But too much to leave us there

When we trust Him with every aspect of our lives, He directs us. And He doesn’t just direct us in a far off, distant sort of way. He cares about every single detail of our lives. 

The God of Christianity isn’t at all a tyrant as some have presumed. He is the One who brings meaning to life. 

He brings good things to those who follow Him.

And our God is very good.