holding onto happy

thoughts for tonight. I’m sitting here worshipping with music and as my thoughts are continually lifted higher, I’m thinking of how incredibly happy I am. I just feel so grateful. I’m grateful I know that even the best this world has to offer is nothing compared to what God has in store for us in heaven. think of how incredibly cruel it would be for God to force people who haven’t wanted to live for Him or accept Him in life to be with Him in heaven! Instead of forcing us, He’s given us the option to choose life..to choose Him. and I’m just reflecting on that and the incredible vision of my purpose that He gave me today. I mean..I’m just shocked at how much sense it makes. Literally everything I’ve ever done and everyone I’ve ever met as brought me to this point. And I’m so grateful for having a greater purpose than eating, drinking, sleeping, and hoping for the best. with Jesus, I have assurance of the best. I didn’t even mean to write all those things, but man, I’m just incredibly grateful 🌻and if you’re struggling with your purpose or you’re just unsure, this is from one I’m-not-always-happy-kid-at-heart straight to you: hold on. every puzzle piece will make sense soon…and you are here for a reason.

just trust

I’m sitting on my bed after hours of dozing off, napping, and all-out sleep. there isn’t much on my to-do list except a few dishes and vacuuming. it’s a new year but more importantly it’s a new day. I want to get excited every day at midnight. I want to get excited about the opportunity to experience a new day. but I don’t think anyone really views it that way. we don’t really measure the value we receive in one day. as I’m scrolling through Instagram posts about new year, new beginnings, and fresh start, I saw a theme – trust. I can’t believe this is a lesson I’m still learning. it’s a little frustrating. but nevertheless, it inspired me to write this small note about Thomas.

Read the story here.

When I’m reading something, especially the Bible, I like to know the meaning of all the words. I especially like to know the meaning behind a name of I’m reading Bible verses. A name in the Bible described that person’s character. John says Thomas is also called “Didymus”. Both of his names are uncommon. I went here to look up what’s in a name. His name is associated with two or double or twice and means Twin. I like one of the last few sentences on that page: “Our word…may denote…being forked.” So putting all these together, I have a mental picture of a guy who had multiple views heading in different directions. I want to use the word double-minded but I’m not 100% sure that’s the exact word I’m looking for. The point is, I see a guy with clashing viewpoints or views that follow different paths. I see a literal fork in the road (which reminds me of Amelia Bedelia) and someone whose viewpoint was able to go down any path or road. Split. Indecisive.

This the guy who needed physical evidence after Jesus was resurrected. His statement showed his personality:

24 And Thomas, one of the twelve, who is called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came;

25 the other disciples, therefore, said to him, `We have seen the Lord;’ and he said to them, `If I may not see in his hands the mark of the nails, and may put my finger to the mark of the nails, and may put my hand to his side, I will not believe.’

He wasn’t there, so he’s having a hard time believing it. Maybe there were many streams of thought flowing though his mind. Maybe his views were overwhelmingly conflicting and so he decided not to believe until he could see for himself and test the theory.

But I love Jesus’ response to Him. Jesus invites Thomas into direct contact with suffering and asks Thomas to believe. Jesus responds to Thomas’ fears and doubts with an invitation to be closer and more intimate. He doesn’t push Thomas away. Sure, it takes a few days for Jesus to respond to Thomas’ request, but the point is that Jesus answers him and in a way in which the other disciples did not experience!

Seeing the word “trust” repeatedly as I scrolled through got me thinking: people often ask “If there’s a God, why is there so much suffering?” In other words, God, how can you be real and not intervene? I understand that question. I get it.

And, Reader, here’s how it connects with our friend Thomas.

God responds to our doubt with an invitation to know Him even more deeply. He invites us to get close to suffering and not to run away from it. He invites us to experience it face to face and not be apart from it. He invites us to see how closely connected He is to suffering and how much He truly understands it. He doesn’t push us away because we have questions or can’t see His plan or don’t understand everything He’s doing. He invites me and you not to ignore suffering but to be a part of it so that it can transform our minds and then transform our lives. Because you can never be unchanged when you experience suffering. You can never be unchanged when you reach out and touch and realize that it’s a real part of the human experience.

And change is exactly what Thomas experiences. After he realizes how intimately the Savior understands suffering, Thomas has a revelation. Thomas realizes and acknowledges that Jesus..is..God.

Observation

Thomas could only see his current situation: Jesus isn’t here and he’s left us emotionally empty while we’re struggling to handle our suffering.

Declaration

Thomas doubts and makes a declaration: I won’t believe until I see.

Invitation

Jesus enters the scene and extends an invitation.

Revelation

Thomas believes and has a revelation.


And I guess that’s just it. If we only look at the current circumstances, we’ll only see part of the picture. But if we acknowledge our doubts and wait for Jesus to reveal Himself, we won’t be able to resist the revelation. As you continue to respond to His invitation to be closer, He’ll reveal Himself as not only being aware of suffering and understanding it, but also being in control.

28 And Thomas answered and said to him, `My Lord and my God;’

mini devotional: the one I wrote for V

It seems like when I’m losing focus, God sends the right word…passage…song…friend. This time around God sent a friend. A friend who encourages me and points my thoughts to Jesus. I keep editing and re-editing because I’m wondering if I’m talking about God too much. I’m wondering about how to reach you, Reader. How do I connect? I didn’t start this page or this blog for the followers. But that’s always in the back of my mind: I wonder if they’d like me more if I…

I don’t like doing things without purpose. I like to do things and see results. I think that’s why I love cleaning so much. Well, that and the fresh, clean air smell.

Sometimes it’s difficult to maintain our sight of purpose. We can get stuck in routine and wonder what it all means. We wonder whether we’ll ever get out of this rut or that situation.

Maybe that’s how the Israelites felt when they were enslaved in Egypt. Century after century they woke up to the same old limited freedom. Unable to worship the one true God perhaps because they had lost their sense of hope…and their identity.

Exodus 6:

“Therefore, say to the people of Israel: ‘I am the Lord. I will free you from your oppression and will rescue you from your slavery in Egypt. I will redeem you with a powerful arm and great acts of judgment. I will claim you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God who has freed you from your oppression in Egypt. I will bring you into the land I swore to give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I will give it to you as your very own possession. I am the Lord!’”

So Moses told the people of Israel what the Lord had said, but they refused to listen anymore. They had become too discouraged by the brutality of their slavery.

If you’re a little discouraged because life seems stagnant, I encourage you to take on a new perspective. You’ve never experienced today, tomorrow, or even the next moment. Each day brings new opportunity even if you’re doing the same old thing. Your identity is rooted in who you are in Jesus. Your identity is first and foremost (I really don’t like that phrase; feel free to suggest another one) in Jesus. That means that even when we’ve got nothing in life, we still have everything because our every thing is based on Jesus. If our identities are based in our achievements, friends, family, jobs, education, or anything but God, then we’ll find that our emotions go up and down like an unpredictable roller coaster because those things (achievements, friends, family, etc.) are always changing. But when we put our hope, faith, foundation in Jesus, we’ll find that even when we’ve got nothing, we have everything.

We’re not really at a loss at all.

And you know, Reader?

There is really no such thing as having absolutely nothing. It’s just a matter of perspective.

There is always something to be grateful for.

But you might need more.

So here it is.

This morning’s Bible verse from Isaiah 40:28

Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding.

The God we serve doesn’t get tired of hearing from us. Further proof here.

The God we serve cares about every detail of our lives.

While you’re waiting for the next thing, change your perspective about the current thing, whether it’s a person, place, or situation.

Find God’s purpose for you. Find out what He wants you to do in the meantime. Use the talents you have in ways you never thought of.

mini devotional: the one about our hearts

ridiculously early mini devotional time ☺️
“Then ADONAI will be king over the whole world. On that day ADONAI will be the only one, and his name will be the only name.”
‭‭Z'kharyah (Zec)‬ ‭14:9‬ ‭CJB‬‬
this verse inspires me to make God the Lord/Master of my heart.
3 verses that talk about hearts stand out to me:
  • Psalm 119:36,Bend my heart toward your instructions and not toward selfish gain.
  • Proverbs 3:5-6,Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
  • 2 Thessalonians 3:5May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ.
From these we see that we should allow God to direct our hearts, which makes sense because our hearts are deceitful (Jer. 17:9). And if our hearts are deceitful and we want to be live truthfully and not live a lie, then we need to ask God to lead our hearts.
what does this mean in real life (application/why should we care)? it means that we shouldn't be led by the emotions our hearts create: insecurity, guilt, fear, anger, distrust, etc. because we know our hearts lie and because Proverbs 23:7a tells us

"As a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

Jesus also emphasizes this in Matthew 15:18-20.
We act out what we believe to be true and these beliefs come from our hearts. (if we believe we aren't valuable, then our actions will reflect our inner insecurity; if we believe we aren't forgiven, we'll drown in guilt; if we fear, it reflects our inner distrust of God & His plan & His promises to us; etc.)
let's allow God to be King 👑 over our hearts today so we can do His will and be led by the truth.
Song for meditation:
King of My Heart, Kutless