just write

the present.

I get so easily distracted. I like to do ten thousand things at once. very recently I’ve been distracted. As I so often do, I dreamt about it. I dreamt about impending distractions. Even in this moment I’m distracted. I want to write so perfectly…eloquently…I don’t know. Sometimes it’s good to just type.

A verse that keeps popping into my mind is Matthew 6:33 –

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (ESV)

So very often – even a few days ago, I confess – I flip the verse. I choose the order. I follow my own lead. And, it’s so strange, because so very often I find myself saying “I wish people would do things that make sense” and yet I find myself doing things that don’t make sense far…too…often.

Have you ever experienced that?

You’re on a roll and then you get derailed and then your insides are raging because you chose not to do the right thing.

Well, I started this blog to be honest. I started this thing because I want to be open. I want you to see that I’m a real person – no holier than thou – and I’ve got my share of struggles just like you.

the past.

A few weeks ago (or months, I don’t exactly remember), I heard (or read) somewhere that as we get closer to God, He conforms our will to His will, so that when we ask Him for anything, He’ll give it to us because our will has become His will and He wills to do what He wills.

Did you follow that?

Let me add another verse for context:

Delight yourself in the Lordand he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4

I’m slightly nerdy so I love definitions:


God will give us the desires of our hearts when we:

  • make Him our thrill
  • become captivated by Him
  • take great pleasure in Him

When we make Jesus our priority, we get closer to Him. As we get closer, our will changes. We don’t just see things from our limited perspective – our will is expanded to include the things we can now see better about the world. God then helps us say “I don’t want my will to be done, I want your will to be done, God”. In that way, God will give us the desires of our hearts. It may not look like all the things we’ve ever wanted but it will definitely look like God’s will – and trust me, if you haven’t already learned, you will eventually discover that His way is best.

the future.

I remember telling one of my best friends that I feel weird talking to God about “the desires of [my] heart“.

She helped me remember that God made us. There is absolutely nothing we can do that would surprise Him. He already knows what you’re about to say before you say it, but if you want the close relationship that leads to Him giving you the desires of your heart, it comes from talking to Him about everything – like you would with your best friend.

One step that really helped me is starting a short Bible reading plan. Youversion created the “Bible App”. You can look up topics on anything – money, sex, drugs, and Jesus (that phrase is the future title of a book I’ll write, so look out for it).

I encourage you to put your trust in Jesus. Make Him your priority. He is absolutely so faithful. I promise to post about His faithfulness on this blog every opportunity I get. He was faithful in giving me the opportunity to get through this…to overcome the distraction.

Don’t let your desires for “all these things” divert your attention from the one who will set you free. You don’t have to face everything on your own. There is a very real God who is very much on your side and cares very much about the desires of your heart.

Live free.

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