just start

the past.

sunny days on the asphalt hill offer so much freedom. we lay back, watching the clouds, identifying shapes as scientifically as seven-year-olds could. on the left is the playground. to our right the school. behind us lies a world of grassy adventure. these days are the best days. I often find myself looking back here..clinging to what I remember. 

I love the monkey bars but I also love the swings. I propel higher and higher and soar into the blue-white unknown. the swings never break, although the pit in my stomach flip-flops when I think of it now. higher and higher still, I fly. I jump and land on soft bits of tire. I made it. I landed. I’m free. I’m safe.

the present.

I knew I wanted to blog on the 27th. So many great things happen on the 27th, e.g. my birthday (only five months away)!! 

But I was okay not getting my thoughts down. If it didn’t happen on the 27th, I’d get that last minute wave of inspiration on the 31st.

I’ve grown to hate New Year’s resolutions. When you think about it, each day is the same. Each day has the same value in it. If you’re lucky enough to make it to the next day, then you’ve got a gem in your hands – the day itself is a blessing. But more importantly, why start tomorrow what you can start today? Our New Year’s resolutions needed to be started yesterday. 

the change.
Project XY is about a change in mindset. It’s about freedom. Freedom from insecurities. Freedom from status quo. It’s about facing everything that frightens you until you can be frightened no more. It’s about being bold. It’s about holding ourselves accountable for the past and shaping a better future. It’s about doing something new. 

Project XY is about safe community. We’re all on this road together. We’re neighbors. If one falls, we’ll help you land softly and help you back up.  

It’s about pointing each other toward a God who says “You belong”, “I’ve got your back” and “Sure you can come as you are, but I will make you better.” 

It’s about letting go. Letting God. Moving on. Moving forward. 

I don’t know how long this project will take. I don’t know exactly what it looks like. And can I tell you something, Reader? I’m afraid. Afraid that my wildest dreams will come true. Afraid to leave my comfort zone. But I want so badly to be honest with you, because I know that in honesty there is freedom. I know someone is waiting for me to be the person God has called me to be…

Dear Reader,

Pardon the delay.